Gratitude Bible Study: 5 Things That Get in the Way of Being Thankful
Most Christians don't need to be convinced that we should be thankful.
We already know that.
We've heard the verses.
We've sung the songs.
And somewhere around Thanksgiving, somebody is probably going to ask us to make a list of things we're thankful for.
So maybe the more interesting question isn't:
Why should Christians be thankful?
Maybe it's more revealing to ask:
Why aren't we?
If gratitude is supposed to be such a normal part of the Christian life, why can it sometimes be so difficult?
As I've been thinking about this gratitude Bible study, I've come up with at least five things that can get in the way.
And I'm pretty sure that from time to time I've been guilty of all five.
1. Comparison: I'm Looking at What Somebody Else Has
It's hard to be grateful for what I have when I'm busy looking at what you have.
That's not exactly a new problem - - I think there's even a COMMANDMENT about it!
And when Peter learned something about his own future, he immediately looked over at John and asked Jesus, essentially, "What about him?"
Jesus' answer was pretty direct:
“What is that to thee? follow thou me.” (John 21:22)
That's a pretty good answer to comparison.
We can spend so much time looking sideways that we stop seeing what's right in front of us.
Someone else's family looks happier.
Someone else's church is growing faster.
Someone else's retirement account is bigger.
Someone else got the opportunity I wanted.
None of those things changes what God has given me. But comparison can certainly change how I see it.
That's one reason I think a good thankfulness Bible study needs to do more than ask people to make a list of their blessings. It needs to help us think about how we're actually seeing those blessings.
Discussion question: What blessing in your own life becomes harder to appreciate when you compare it with what someone else has?
2. Entitlement: I've Stopped Seeing It as a Gift
James writes:
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.” (James 1:17)
The important word there may be gift.
Because something happens when I begin thinking I'm entitled to what I have.
I worked for it.
I earned it.
I deserve it.
Pretty soon, a blessing doesn't feel like a blessing anymore. It just feels like something I was supposed to get. And it's hard to be thankful for something you think somebody owed you.
Maybe one of the enemies of gratitude is simply forgetting that I didn't have to receive any of this.
Discussion question: What is something in your life that you once considered a blessing, but now tend to think of as something you deserve?
3. Familiarity: I've Gotten Used to It
Psalm 103 begins with David talking to himself:
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” (Psalm 103:2)
Apparently, forgetting God's benefits is something God's people have been doing for a long time.
And I don't think we always forget because we have bad memories.
Sometimes we forget because the blessing became normal.
Think about something you once prayed for.
A job.
A spouse.
A child.
A house.
An opportunity.
An answer to a frightening medical test.
At one time, you may have prayed desperately for it.
Then you got it.
Then a year later, you're complaining about it.
That's what familiarity can do to gratitude.
Yesterday's answered prayer can become today's ordinary life.
Discussion question: What has God given you that you were once deeply thankful for - but have gradually stopped noticing?
4. Disappointment: I'm Looking at What God Didn't Do
This one needs a little more care.
Sometimes we're not feeling grateful because something really does hurt.
The prayer wasn't answered the way we wanted.
The relationship didn't work out.
The opportunity disappeared.
The diagnosis wasn't good.
Biblical gratitude doesn't require us to pretend those things don't hurt.
But disappointment can become so large in our field of vision that it blocks our view of everything else.
Paul's instruction wasn't to give thanks only after the difficult situation was resolved: “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
That's harder.
It means disappointment and gratitude may have to occupy the same room.
Discussion question: Is there something God hasn't done that is making it difficult for you to see what He has done?
5. Self-Sufficiency: I Think I Did It Myself
This may be the most dangerous one because success can actually make gratitude harder.
Moses warned Israel about what would happen after they entered the Promised Land and prospered.
They would have houses, herds, silver and gold.
And then they might say:
“My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth.” (Deuteronomy 8:17)
Sound familiar?
I built the business.
I earned the degree.
I made the right decisions.
I worked hard.
Those things may all be true.
But Moses reminds Israel that even the ability to produce wealth came from God.
Sometimes gratitude disappears not because life is going badly.
Sometimes gratitude disappears because life is going so well that we start taking the credit.
Discussion question: Where are you most tempted to take personal credit for something that ultimately depends on what God has given you?
A Gratitude Bible Study May Need a Different Question
Maybe we don't need another reminder that Christians should be thankful.
We know that. Maybe we need to start by identifying what keeps getting in the way.
Comparison.
Entitlement.
Familiarity.
Disappointment.
Self-sufficiency.
Those five words could make a pretty interesting Bible study by themselves.
In fact, here's one question you could use to bring the whole conversation together:
Which of these five most often interferes with gratitude in your life - and what would it look like to confront it this week?
That's a considerably different conversation from, "What are you thankful for?"
And maybe that's exactly the conversation some of our classes need.
Looking for a Bible Study on Gratitude You Can Use?
If you're looking for something already prepared, I've put together 5 Conversations on Thankfulness, a five-session set of discussion guides for adult Sunday School classes and small groups.
The studies explore thankfulness through Psalm 100, James 1, 1 Thessalonians 5, Luke 17 and Psalm 103.
Each one includes Scripture, a short teaching introduction, about 10 discussion questions designed to move the conversation forward, and a few Personal Application ideas.
You can use all five as a series leading up to Thanksgiving.
Or choose one for Thanksgiving.
Or even pull individual questions into the curriculum you're already teaching.
I've already done the question-writing and much of the preparation for you.
Because the problem usually isn't that we don't know we're supposed to be thankful.
Sometimes we need a little help seeing what's getting in the way.
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